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Författare Ämne: Veckans gapskratt  (läst 776494 gånger)

0 medlemmar och 4 gäster tittar på detta ämne.

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Veckans gapskratt
« Svar #105 skrivet: 2004-06-03, 09:33:40 »
Scouterna gör unga redo för livet genom äventyr och utmaningar som får dem att växa som individer. Våra värderingar genomsyrar allt vi gör - vi är schyssta kompisar!

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Veckans gapskratt
« Svar #106 skrivet: 2004-06-03, 22:35:33 »
:toot SH-Divisionens nya fordon :toot


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Veckans gapskratt
« Svar #107 skrivet: 2004-06-03, 23:37:07 »

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« Svar #108 skrivet: 2004-06-04, 01:01:26 »
:lolabove

Online computer users may engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into
keyboards and shared through internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the
two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex.
Then again, maybe he does.................

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect.
My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought
from WalMart. I'm also wearing a Tshirt with a few spots of barbeque sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK...sure.

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo, and there are candles on my dresser
and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to
fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge
faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breathe
harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body.
The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know...breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What??

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold!! Yeeeee!!!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Taking off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on your...ummm..... wait a
minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK ?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where
do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now, I'm putting it back in the cabinet, and now I'm walking back to the bedroom.
Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing against each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby !

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet, I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now ?

Wellhung: I've just realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom
now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my.... you know... thing...in your...you know... woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I have a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my butt back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see
what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet, nasty
blouse.

Wellhung: No, wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over
cans of hairspray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The
curtain in on fire! I'm

pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire. Oh noooooooooo!!
"Jag tar rygg på Letalis"

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Veckans gapskratt
« Svar #109 skrivet: 2004-06-04, 09:25:15 »
:lolabove  :lolabove  :lolabove En vacker historia Lasse

Se upp med var ni placerar er på stadskartorna

Har du supit upp spriten i kompassen - Styr efter topplanternan.

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« Svar #110 skrivet: 2004-06-05, 04:05:54 »
Lite för mycket fritid...
Lite för lite respekt...






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« Svar #111 skrivet: 2004-06-05, 04:11:32 »
En gammal klassiker:




En del vill få det till att det rör sig om en delfin, men så är inte fallet...
Man blir inge vidare badsugen... :scared

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« Svar #112 skrivet: 2004-06-05, 10:10:59 »
A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, "May I buy you a drink?" "Okay, but it won't do you any good." A little later, he asks, "May I buy you another drink?" "Okay, but it won't do you any good." He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, "Okay, but it won't do you any good." They get to his apartment and he says, "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife." She says, "Oh, that's different. Send her in."

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« Svar #113 skrivet: 2004-06-06, 13:10:49 »
Har du supit upp spriten i kompassen - Styr efter topplanternan.

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Veckans gapskratt
« Svar #114 skrivet: 2004-06-06, 23:49:35 »
Vet inte om jag postat den här tidigare...


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Veckans gapskratt
« Svar #115 skrivet: 2004-06-07, 15:06:21 »


ok...jag kanske inte vet vad det här med vodafone går ut på...
men att "få 50 MB data på köpet" tycker jag låter roligt
undrar om datat levereras semikolonseparerat i en txt-fil?  :hm

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Veckans gapskratt
« Svar #116 skrivet: 2004-06-07, 15:13:18 »
det är ju 50mb nerladdning via gprs...

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« Svar #117 skrivet: 2004-06-07, 15:27:47 »
Citat från: Ceder
det är ju 50mb nerladdning via gprs...


jaha...nymodigheter

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« Svar #118 skrivet: 2004-06-07, 16:00:33 »
mmm kan tro det...annars trodde jag du menade burken som inte var värd sitt pris :D

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« Svar #119 skrivet: 2004-06-07, 16:29:04 »
hehe, näää

jag tycker bara att strofen "få 50 MB data på köpet" e himla lustig :)

 

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