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Författare Ämne: Veckans gapskratt  (läst 776189 gånger)

0 medlemmar och 3 gäster tittar på detta ämne.

Utloggad Harmen

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SV: Veckans gapskratt
« Svar #3315 skrivet: 2013-03-18, 20:18:12 »

Utloggad Brynja

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« Svar #3316 skrivet: 2013-04-08, 08:41:21 »
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers. There weren't as many violators this day as usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies-two in the front seat and three in the back-wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...twenty-two miles an hour!" the old dear says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 215."
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Utloggad Bråthen

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« Svar #3317 skrivet: 2013-04-08, 09:55:09 »
 :lolabove




Edit: 215 mph är 346 kph
« Senast ändrad: 2013-04-08, 10:00:10 by Bråthen »
- BattleTag - Bråthen#1401

- WoW -
Arkalos - lvl 85 Mage (Outland)
Asaldor - lvl 60 Paladin (Outland)
Fugglie - lvl 10 Hunter - Just an uggly goblin doing stupid things on RP-server Argent Dawn

- SWToR -
Bråten is scattered all over the galaxy ATM! :)

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« Svar #3318 skrivet: 2013-04-08, 10:30:39 »
Krutkärring  :lolabove :thumb

Utloggad Brynja

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« Svar #3319 skrivet: 2013-04-09, 08:58:06 »
Här kommer en krutkärring till!

A little old lady went into The Bank of America one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted on speaking with the president of the bank. Because she was a little old lady and it was such a lot of money. They were finally able to get her in to the president’s office. He asked her how much she would like to deposit. She said she had $165,000 and then she dumped the money out onto his desk. The president, surprised, was curious to know how she came by so much cash.
“I make bets.” she replied.
The president asked, “Bets? What kind of bets?”
“Well,” said the little old lady, “for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square.”
“Ha!” laughed the president, “That’s a stupid bet, you can never win with that kind of bet!”
The old lady quickly responded, “So, would you like to take my bet?”
“Sure”, said the president… “I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls aren’t square”
The little old lady said, “Okay, but since there’s a lot of money involved, is it okay with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am to witness?”
“Absolutely!” said the president.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet, and spent a long time in front of the mirror checking his balls; turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure there was no way his balls were square.
Next morning, at 10 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president’s office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet. The president agreed to the bet again, and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could see. The president did so. The old lady looked closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
“Well… okay,” said the president, “$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.” Then he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.
“What’s wrong with your lawyer?” he asked.
The little old lady replied, “Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10 am today I’d have the Bank of America’s President’s balls in my hands.”
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« Svar #3320 skrivet: 2013-04-09, 22:52:45 »
 :lolabove

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« Svar #3321 skrivet: 2013-04-11, 22:09:51 »

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« Svar #3322 skrivet: 2013-04-18, 22:06:56 »

Utloggad Brynja

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« Svar #3323 skrivet: 2013-04-19, 03:25:37 »
 :lolabove
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Utloggad Brynja

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« Svar #3324 skrivet: 2013-05-04, 05:58:43 »
 :thumb
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« Svar #3325 skrivet: 2013-05-09, 23:00:42 »
I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bitten. I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.
Eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jetengines


A bullet may have your name on it, but a grenade is adressed "to whom it may concern".

Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes that reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions.

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« Svar #3326 skrivet: 2013-05-10, 00:42:00 »
 :lolabove



"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum."
"My Big Fat Excuse is on cooldown!"

Utloggad Brynja

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« Svar #3327 skrivet: 2013-05-10, 04:17:25 »
I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bitten. I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

Awww =)
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Argend dawn: Vortec - Troll

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« Svar #3328 skrivet: 2013-05-10, 06:38:34 »
Man skall icke stöta till muggen med kaffet när den är full. Då är den inte full längre

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« Svar #3329 skrivet: 2013-05-10, 17:15:59 »
 :lolabove


"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum."
"My Big Fat Excuse is on cooldown!"

 

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